I'm going to be doing the Race For Life on June 18th and I've got an online sponsorship form at: http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/nicolafern

I'd really appreciate any donation you can make - ALL the money raised goes directly to Cancer Research - I paid £12.50 to enter, which covers all their admin costs etc so there's no overhead on the donations.

I've known friends, family and patients affected by cancer and it's very important to me to help Cancer Research improve treatments and survival rates.

Many thanks!

Nic

Slap This Man?

I mean, I've never seen a more smug and infinitely puncheable face in my puff.



Apart from being an Arsewipe of the Highest Order, David Cameron must be some sort of Bond villain's Evil Henchman, surely? He's definitely not clever enough to be the actual villain, but I'm sure some high-level Henching wouldn't be beyond him.

Here he is about to enjoy a spot of lunch, courtesy of the Blue Cross:



Smug Git.

Well, it's been a few weeks now, and things are so far going well :D

In my first 2 weeks here I got offered two jobs (yes, two!), and I accepted the lower paid-but-in-sexual health job over the higher-paid-but-youth-worky-volunteery job as my ultimate goal is to get into sexual health promotion, and a PA job there is going to give me more relevant contacts etc...also, I'm free to volunteer for THT with that one (if they'll have me..) which would be even better for future things.

I've also just set up (literally) a Meetup.com group for knitting in Wolverhampton...so, if you're here, join! I really missed not being able to get to the Glasgow one so much in the last while, and I thought this would be fun as there only seems to be a Beatties one here, and I'm not a fan of big-box corporate sponsorship in that way. I went last week and it felt odd sitting in the middle of a big shop. I'm hoping to find a cafe or similar with a quiet spot for meeting in.

Gaaaah, why is packing so terrible!

I've got like a day left and my flat still looks like a bomb's hit it...I was meant to have everything away and tidy, things sanded, filled and painted and everything by now, when in reality the whole flat looks like this...



Except worse...

I do have Marie Curie coming tomorrow to collect masses of stuff I was supposed to sell at the car boot sale, which never happened as I was let down with 2 days to go by the person providing the car....THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I have also hurt my shoulder somehow, and it's really not very well.  On the plus side, I have some HUGEMUNGOUS black bin sacks, and one full day to go.  I think I might make it, if I really get cracking tomorrow and go to bed just now to try and rest my shoulder with a heat pad.  I've just about OD'd on diclofenac today, but it seems to have helped too.

I finished work on Wednesday, and am going bowling with about 20 people tomorrow night for a bit of a shindig (at which I am not allowed to get drunk.  N-O-T.)

Holy crap, this is harder than I thought.

The move is on - I'm currently buried under piles and piles of stuff to a. get rid of, b. throw out, or c. pack.  I'm also doing an extra 6-9 hours a week at LGBT Youth at the moment...

I only have three weeks..yes...THREE WEEKS to go..I'm flitting on Sunday 9th March.

I'm doing a car boot sale at Blochairn next Sunday where I'm going to try and make some money out of the heaps of crap I have unearthed from my flat.  Anything left after that is going to a charity shop.

I've also got a leather sofa and chair, metal 2-door cabinet, corner entertainment unit, butchers block and a double loft bed with desk underneath to sell if anyone is interested :)

I decided (after a successful-but-still-didn't-get-the-job-AGAIN interview in December) that it made a lot of sense to move and temp rather than job-hunting from afar..if nothing else, interview costs could really add up. I have a few applications in the works just now which will be interviewing just after I get there for some pretty ideal jobs..Honestly, there seems to be much better availability of work compared to the Glasgow area.  Also, my favourite job web site ever has just expanded to include England - www.goodmoves.org.uk - public sector and charity jobs for England, Scotland and Wales. Brilliant site.

I'm struggling to find a temporary home for the kitties still so if anyone knows anyone who would take 2 nice cats for 6 months +, please point them my way!

I've been away a while again, busy and working a lot.

I've made a decision recently, and I think it's a positive and groovy one which will be fun and adventuresome.  I've decided to move back down South.  A few reasons really...I don't feel like there's much keeping me in Glasgow at the moment, and the job market is as dull as dishwater.  I feel that starting somewhere new would be really good for me...somewhere I've never been a skint student or a scraping by temp.  Also, my family all live in the Midlands area and I miss them all loads...so that's where I'm going.

I'm not leaving yet, by any stretch, as I need to find gainful employment before I go.  I've started looking (and applying!) for work in the Birmingham/Wolverhampton/surrounding area.  If anyone reading is around that neck of the woods and has any tips on places/websites to look for work (especially health-related or public sector jobs) I'd appreciate a heads up :) 

I applied for a health promotion officer post in Dudley this last week - still waiting to hear if I get an interview so fingers crossed cos it sounds ideal :)

As to what I'm up to at the moment, I'm working in the Southern General Hospital as a medical secretary - I've been there two months and rather enjoy it actually.  Unlike most temp jobs it's a whole job I'm doing, rather than just bits here and there, which makes a real difference I think - there's much more responsibility, and a fair bit of variety in the work, which is good!

And apparently I didn't get the job because during an /interview/ while delivering a timed section of a lesson plan to a group of three late 30 or 40-somethings pretending to be 15 I was allegedly 'flat', 'too serious', 'humourless', 'uninspiring' and 'bland'.

I'm very insulted really. Besides wondering exactly how much resemblance the above scenario has to actually delivering work with young people (considering it's STRESSFUL and all), I didn't think I would be judged on my abilities as a stand up comedian or actor.

Quite apart from the fact that most of the young people I work with spend half their time laughing at me...In a /good/ way. I think...

On another note I'm trying to do something positive somewhere so I've signed up to do another OU course - this one on youth work. It's OU course number E131 and it's called Introduction to working with young people. http://www3.open.ac.uk/courses/bin/p12.dll?C01E131 for details. I can get £200 towards it with the ILA thing too so it's cheap.

I feel awful. I think I'm quite near the end of my tether. This isn't a cry for help, more of a scream in the dark and a pleading for something, somehow to go right for once.

In the last couple of months I have been repeatedly shat on from a great height and I'd like it to stop now, please.

In merely the last four weeks I have had three job interviews - all of which were ideal for me. Youth work, two of them based around sexual health. None of which I got. All of which I was told I 'came second' in. One of which was due to the fact I don't drive - even though it wasn't listed as a requirement in the job spec. Everyone who has helped me prepare for these interviews has told me they are at a loss as to why I don't have a job over a year since I graduated. I have had somewhere in the region of thirty interviews and the same number of rejections since graduation. Feedback is always the same. Perfect interview, Nicola but someone else had more experience than you.

Someone even told me that they thought the reason I can't get a job is because I'm too fat. What a way to make me feel good about myself.

I'm fucking sick of being told I'm second best. I have no self confidence, I spend half my alone time crying and wondering why I don't seem to have a future. I work for relative peanuts in a job with no security and no satisfaction, which never requires me to engage my brain.

I take home £230 a week, half of which needs put aside for rent and other bills (not including food). With what's left, I exist. I don't actually have a life. My last girlfriend dumped me because she 'didn't want tying down'. One of my good friends recently treated me like utter shit over a business deal and bilked me out of £700 I need more than I care to admit, especially since it turns out I'm a month behind with my rent.

I have a Mensa tested IQ of A HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVEN. I think I am resourceful, witty and good at what I do. Why am I in this mess? Why am I not enough?

I'm turning into an angry, lonely, bitter, weepy shell. I don't think it's unfair at this point to request a fucking break. 

I decided I'm going to need at least a bit of away time this year, so I've just booked the hotel and train to go to the YLAF from 26th - 27th October.

Is anyone else going or thinking of going? If so I have a twin room booked in Warren's Guesthouse which is apparently only a 10 min walk from the Racecourse where the festival is being held. I'm paying £50 a night for the twin room for just me (they don't have any singles available) and have been quoted £65 for the room with 2 people B&B.

Yay for holidays, however mini they may be :D

It's not finished yet, but I'm happy with it so far. I last worked on it a couple months ago and I figure some constructive criticism might actually result in it being finished sometime before the end of the decade.

It's not terribly erotic yet, I haven't got quite that far with it. I'm not happy with the name Becca either, though I like the name Liv. Not sure why.

I got my nose pierced today! Hurt like a bastard but it dulled down to a mild nip every so often pretty quickly and I can hardly feel it now :D

It was done at Nirvana Piercing in Glasgow, and I got a flat purple jewel thing in for now, which I have to leave in for about 10 weeks...then I can change it for whatever I like. I also picked up a spiky new brow bar while I was out.

So I was going up the stairs at the LGBT Centre after finishing working with the youth group and very randomly walked past some bales of hay sitting at the top of the stairs (don't ask...) and as I past my nose twitched as the scent wafted my way...I was overcome with a compulsion to walk over and smell them. I put my face right on the top of the bale and inhaled deeply, feeling the scratchy strands against my face and the slight give in the bale as I put my weight against it.

And I traveled....memories of every summer school fete, barbeque, and bonfire night I'd been to rushing back. Feeling like a small child with my red wellingtons on sitting among the bales ranged around and swinging my legs against them, twisting my fingers through the twine holding my bale together. Sounds of laughter and community. Smell of the horses out for the kids to ride, and the bark of dogs running around mad with all the attention and buzz. Taste of the slightly charred burgers, sweet toffee apples, and the sizzle and whizz of the kids with their sparklers, clutched tightly in gloved hands.

I'd forgotten all this until today, and now I remember with startling clarity.

I just found out about this week's 'season' of programmes marking the 40th Anniversary of the Sexual Offenses Act...it started on Friday, unfortunately, but there's still several programmes to go!

The C4 web site says: "In 1967 the Homosexual Reform Act was passed, decriminalising homosexual acts in private between two adult men aged 21 and over. Marking the 40th anniversary of the Act, Channel 4 is showing a season of new dramas and documentaries."

Though on one of the programme pages it states that the act legalised homosexual sex in 'Britain' rather than just England and Wales, since Scotland didn't cotton on until 1980.

Find out more at http://www.channel4.com/culture/microsites/0-9/40_years_on/index.html?intcmp=docpage_box3

I managed to get an interview for the Family Planning Association post I applied for the other week...it's a project officer post delivering their Sexability sex education programme in schools. The interview is on the 31st July so wish me luck! :)

Anyone else finished the new Harry Potter book yet? I finished it on Saturday night...won't say anything as I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but I really enjoyed it. Quite a page-turner :)

I've also rejoined the Pink Sofa to try and find the lady of my dreams - a little luck wishing wouldn't go amiss on that front, either!

I cast on for a new project last night - Bellatrix Socks by Gigi Silva at Socktopia - it's one of three patterns she is releasing in honour of the final HP book. It's based on a drop stitch pattern similar to a scarf I tried once - much easier with skinnier yarn, and I love how it's turning out with the Fyberspates sock yarn in Ocean I bought from K1 Yarns a couple of months back. The other two patterns are called Fawkes and Nagini, and all three can be downloaded for free from the Socktopia site.

I'm done with the cuff and am about to start the third out of seven pattern repeats for the leg. Photos to follow when my pic uploading is behaving.

I'm also completely obsessed with Ravelry, the new online fibre arts community...it's still in beta at the moment but you can join a waiting list and you'll be added soon - I got my invite 2 weeks ago and it's fabulous :) and I've seen SO many new patterns I want to knit on it.

Anyhoo, I'm off to the Knit 'n Stitch at the Tron Theatre...

If there's one thing can be said about Claire (and I can think of many things), it's that she made me realise what a horny bastard I am.

I finished the Umbilical Cord hat I started yesterday. It's currently drying after being washed. It's done in the same yarn I made the Tulip jacket in - Dream In Colour Classy in Spring Tickle, Happy Forest and Blue Lagoon. I don't think you can get it in the UK, at least not easily. I bought the jacket kit from Lettuce Knit in Canada, which cost £30 including postage. I think that's not too bad considering it's a new baby gift and I got a hat out of the leftover yarn. I'm actually contemplating whether I have enough for little socks, too....

I couldn't stop. It's not right, I know but this morning I washed the cuuuuute little baby sweater I finished on Friday and needed somewhere flat and cat hair-free to dry it. So I laid it out all neat and pretty in the bath.

This pretty much meant that showering, bathing and hair washing were right out the window. So I sat. And I looked at the plastic baggy the sweater kit came in. And I thought. Oooooo. Lots of yarn left over - what to do with it?

I actually woke up this morning having dreamt I'd made a matching hat. So I did. Well, mostly. I'm 5 inches into the Umbilical Baby Hat from the Stitch & Bitch Handbook (page 188 should you be interested).

I started it in the dark blue colour, then switched to a yellowish green, then a grass green. I now want to switch back to the yellowish green but can I find the stinking yarn? No. It's hiding. I know I had enough for a few more rows and now it's sitting in my room peeking out from behind something and sniggering. I blame cats. Evil hair producing, yarn hiding stinkers!

Yes, for those of you who don't know, I'm single again. How, I don't really know. To say it came out of the blue (last Friday, so I guess there /was/ a lot of water around, what with all the rain) is fairly accurate.

Problems, yes. Unsolvable ones, I didn't think so.

But anyway, I'm single and now haven't had a shag in about 5 weeks. I feel like I may explode. Battling hard to stay chipper and be good and not go and find a new bird and give myself time to 'heal', whatever the fuck that is.

Bitter much?

So yes, new computer.

It's an iMac 17" (any bigger and it wouldn't fit on my desk), 2.16GHz  Core 2 Duo, 1GB RAM, 250GB hard drive (plus an external 300GB one). It's got built-in Bluetooth, wireless, iSight camera and microphone, remote control to access audio and video, DVD writer and all the whizz-bang iLife software for web, video and audio editing.

I'm so happy :D